5 people you always find at a staff party

At RMH we hold all sorts of events, in all shapes and sizes. As we come into EOFY party season, let’s reflect on the vast number of corporate events we’ve held. No matter the group, the same five people always attend a staff party. Can you identify who these people are in your office?

Peter the Performer

Peter loves a good singalong session & no matter the style of music, he’s always cutting shapes on the dancefloor. Loud, boisterous, and a bit wild, Peter provides free entertainment and certainly helps get the party started. Peter has endless suggestions for the DJ; “Have you got Khe Sahn?” Although largely disliked by the DJ community, most of the team are fond of Peter, who’s always playfully good fun.

By the end of night: Peter will be rounding up the troops and finding the next venue. When the bulk of the group can’t get passed the door bitch of venue two, they’ll happily invite the crew back to their place as a last ditched effort to keep the party going. Now where’s that 24-hour bottle shop?

Deep & Meaningful Myrtle

Corporate functions are a great place to get to know everyone in your office on a more personal level – you’ll get to know Myrtle a little more than you would have hoped. Myrtle revels in the chance to bail you up and tell you all about her latest relationship failing & the crisis of their cousin’s daughter’s best friend’s dog. They’ll give you an hour long wax lyrical on their philosophy of life; Dog’s do go to heaven, thanks Myrtle. You might struggle to get a word in edgewise, so we reckon it’s best to have a) an escape plan or b) a few drinks at the ready so you can settle in and be that shoulder to cry on.

By the end of night: Myrtle will be found on the side of the dance floor crying into her Sauvy B, proclaiming why her cats care more than her boyfriend ever could.

Polly Politics

Polly just got over looked for a promotion and you’re going to hear about. You’re use to her occasional grumblings in the office but after a couple of cheeky vinos, the whinge comes out in full force. They’ll have an opinion on their manager, their team, their clients – you name it, they’ll moan about it how everyone could do things better. The best way to handle Polly? Do your best to deflect the conversation elsewhere and if they don’t get the hint and stop talking about it, at least they’ll move on to someone else.
By the end of night: They’ll be outside the venue reminding their manager why they were the obvious choice over Myrtle for the promotion.

The Pasher & Dasher

The corporate party is the office Casanova’s time to shine. They like indulging in a bit of harmless flirting during office hours, but the moves really come out when the drinks are flowing and everyone’s guard comes down a little. There are few types of Pasher & Dashers, from the suave & subtle; finding a dark corner to do their work, to the crude & crass; the office #MeToo incident waiting to happen. When you’re right into the spirit of the occasion, the Pasher forgets, it’s hard to execute the Dash when you’ve made out with the receptionist you walk past at least twice daily Monday to Friday.

By the end of night: There’s only two scenarios for the Pasher & Dasher; if the nights been successful they’ll be in the back of an Uber with a ‘friend’, or they’ll be on the dance floor with Peter scraping the barrel.

Dark Horse Harry

During work hours, Harry keeps to himself. He’s usually the first one in the office and the first one out the door, seemingly avoiding as much personal interaction as possible. Harry arrives at the party promptly and he’s quick to find the mimosas. At first, they’re their usual quiet self. After mimosa number three, the cringe worthy jokes rear their ugly head; By mimosa number five, Harry’s second in line behind Peter on the conga line. By mimosa number seven they’ll be ‘whispering’ obscenities during the CEO’s speech that everyone’s sure to hear.

By the end of night: Harry will be lying on the bar looking for people to take body shots taken off them.

The Royal Melbourne Hotel is an iconic & heritage listed venue with 5 unique rooms that can be booked uniquely or as an entire venue. We have the perfect venue to cater for groups of 50 to 1200 Peter’s, Polly’s & Harry’s, Myrtle’s even welcome too.

Enquire today to see if your EOFY function qualifies for a free $500 bonus spend on your function at the Royal Melbourne Hotel.